I was told today that I am officially lid off, then my best friend told me she was pregnant after just a month of trying. It was a double whammy today. I am so under the weather.

Hello world

I know I have been ignoring you, but I have a good excuse.... really!! I have been busy, and not a god busy. Life has been a little chaotic. I am getting laid off of work, I finally finished my first semester of school (with honours may I add) and we have started trying again for another baby with no avail. It's super frustrating and I am starting to get back to the dark place I was over 2 years ago. I guess that means you will see more of me as I descend deeper into madness.

Happy New years all (better late than never b*tchs).

Lame ass

I appear to be so lame! Apparently I haven't posted anything since May 6! What a snooze I must be.
New Rant for today. My work sucks! I know what you are thinking, everyone's work sucks. Yes but I think that everyoen is entitled to a work rant every now and then. Here is my dilema,
-They don't pay enough
- I am technically only a "temporary employee" which means I don't get raises, bonuses, benefits or any type of perks what so ever.
- I do a lot of work for no recignition

I must ask myself everyday, what the fuck am I still doing here?

Oh bugger!

We are like two ships passing in the night and neither one of us wants to make the first effort to correct it. Or rather, he doesn't even realize there is a problem. I wish he would just man up and do what needs to be done. I cannot watch him play video games forever while I raise our daughter, make him food, clean his house and then be expected to take care of his needs. F*ck I have needs!!!! Stroke my ego and maybe I will stroke a little something of yours!!

Blue Day

Today was a very depressing day for me. It was my very first mothers day and no one acknowledged it. No one called, Bear didn't get me a card, I didn't even receive a "happy mothers day" from anyone. It was so depressing, I cried. I have been waiting for years to be able to call myself a mom and now that I am, I am feeling so alone. If it weren't for baby bear then I don't know where I would be.

My husband accused me of pulling away the other day and I guess that made me realize that maybe I am shrinking into myself. When I look into the mirror I do not see the same charismatic women that I once was. I see a hollow shell.

Oh Please, like I care!!

Do not bitch to me about money if you have some. Don't complain about your pregnancy around people who are infertile, don't tell me how to raise my child if you have a crack addict son and please do not judge me because I am anything but the same as you. You have no idea what my day is like and I do not pretend to know what you have been through. I will just smile and nod but inside I am beating the snot out of you.

Socializing with the enemy

Yesterday I had Bear's sister, husband and toddler over for appies and drinks. This is the first time they have ever been to our home, which we have lived in for 2 years, and the first time we have been alone in the same room as them for over 3 years.

I remember now why we don't get along. They are ugly people, inside and out and all they could talk about was themselves and the fact that Bear's family always "forgets" to invite us anywhere. Every single member of his family went to the Body Works exhibit in the city on Saturday and no one even thought to call us to see if we would like to go too. Assholes!! I really was trying to be nice having them over, but now I think that ignorance is bliss when it comes to his family.

I really don't care if I hang out with them or not, they aren't my favorite people on the planet. But the fact that we have a 7 month old daughter now doesn't seem to phase them. Why the hell do they not want to spend time with Baby Bear?! What the hell is wrong with his family?! They might not like me but, Baby Bear has done nothing to them and she would like to know her Grandparents at some point.

I have finally branched off from my other blog and created one just for me. No family, no hubby. No one to carry over into real life. This means I can be a melancholy bitch.